


Light Yagami Buys a Penis Pillow

by rekisboyfriend



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yagami Light Is Not Kira (Death Note), Angst?, Beyond Birthday is His Own Warning, Beyond and Light are internet besties for some reason, Beyond is alive, Beyond is still a murderer, But he got away without being put in prison, But its okay cuz so is everyone in the show, Crack, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Gay Yagami Light, Light has the death note but he's not Kira, Light is sexy, Light is the definition of morally grey, Mentions of genitals, OOC characters, Other, Penis Pillow, Soichiro learns new things about his supposedly perfect son, Soichiro slander fully encouraged, Trans Yagami Light, Why Did I Write This?, Yagami Light is a Little Shit, did you really expect it to be about Light buying a penis pillow and NOT be out of character?, possibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29408787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rekisboyfriend/pseuds/rekisboyfriend
Summary: Light fucks around with the task force. Alternatively, Light buys a penis pillow.(Inspired by some late night aliexpress viewing)
Relationships: Beyond Birthday & Yagami Light, L & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, Ryuk & Yagami Light, Yagami Light & Yagami Sayu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	Light Yagami Buys a Penis Pillow

Well, today had been shit. First, he’d been accused of being a mass murderer - gross, who would do that - second, he’d scuffed his perfect, brand new shoes. They were a lovely shade of brown, too, albeit a tad too business-like for a teen. Next, the seller had messaged him that his pillow had yet to arrive. Oh, how he was waiting for its arrival. After all, if he was being watched by some weird ass stalkers (read: L) then why not have some fun with them?

Sighing, Light flopped on his bed, fully prepared to pull out his homework. Yknow? Like the perfect, sexy, and talented student he was. But… he ended up falling asleep for a bit. Or a lot. He groaned tiredly and sat up, before he remembered his true goal for today. Right. He was supposed to fuck with the task force, not act like a perfectly normal teen after a long day of school. Okay, so maybe his not-acting acting needed a bit of work... Whatever, he had all the time in the world to mess around, after all, there was 24 hour surveillance. Which was weird. Didn't anyone ever tell L about the consequences of human rights violations? Actually, no, he didn't think anyone ever did, if his talks with Beyond were anything to go by. 

It was actually a funny story, how him and Beyond had met. He’d been doing some research on L, back when he’d had a little phase of admiration for him in his early teens, and stumbled across Beyond in a “specially monitored Wammy’s house” discord server. It was quite a ridiculous little incident, seeing as how 13 year old Light had managed to find L’s relative location, and hack into his home base, if one could call it that. It was hardly fair to call Light a normal teen, seeing as how by the age of 12 he was scoring full marks on To-Oh entrance exams, but Light supposed it was a little fun to dumb himself down for a bit just to mock L’s security system. The great L, using discord? It was laughable. But… it had brought him to Beyond, and for that he was thankful. Homicidal tendencies aside, he was a great friend. Without his murderous-stranger-turned-internet-bestie, who knows how sheltered the teen would be. Chuckling to himself, Light checked his phone with a resigned sigh. A few messages from his school friends, some comments on his L x reader fics, and YES! His order was here.

“Liiiight! Light? Are you here? A package is at the door for - “

Breezing past his mother, Light snatched the package out of her hands. Seeing her expression of astonishment at his less-than-perfect behavior, he quickly plastered on a fake smile.  
“Sorry, mother. I was getting a birthday present for Sayu. It’s a secret. Remember? She’ll be 15 soon.” 

Sachiko gasped in shock. How could she have forgotten her own daughter’s birthday? Muttering a prayer of apology to whatever god was listening, she scurried off. Light smirked when he caught Sayu peering over the stairs with amusement. 

“Wanna see what I bought? Just don’t tell mom.” 

Squealing with excitement, Sayu nodded hastily. “Omg, Light!! What did you buy? Is it something -“ she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively - “baaad?!” 

“Well, I think Dad would have a heart attack if he saw it, but it’s not.. bad… per se. Remember how I told you about the cameras? Well, turns out L and the task force are behind it, so you can call this a prank, if you will.”

Deciding not to tease her anymore, really, he was so kindhearted, Light unveiled his newest toy. It was a big plushie. Nothing suspicious at all, except for the fact that it was decidedly phallic shaped. Okay, so he bought a penis plushie. So what? It was comfy and a great way to come out to his conservative father. 

Sayu’s eyes sparkled with mirth once she saw the contents of her brother’s newest shopping spree. She was beyond glad Light had finally grown out of his stuffy, perfect older brother phase. It was nauseating to watch. 

“Now remember, not a word to Mom! I’ll be in my room, confusing the fuck out of that ‘detective’ L.” 

And with that, Light was back in his room, ready to stir things up. If they had the nerve to think Light was Kira, there really wasn’t any place his reputation could go but up, by L’s standards, at least. Wiping the smirk off of his face, the teen stepped into his room, clutching his plushie lovingly. Unbeknownst to anyone but Light, Ryuk burst into raucous laughter. Perhaps his charge wasn’t as dull as he had expected. On the other side of the screen, L’s eyes widened comically. Straight-laced Light Yagami, with his top scores and perfectly parted hair, was cuddling... a penis plushie? He chuckled a bit. L hadn't expected his prime suspect to be so flamboyant about his tastes. Or perhaps it was a prank? He knew he was being watched? Yes, he supposed that did make more sense. 

Behind L, Soichiro stood frozen in shock. His son? His perfect son who had never done anything wrong owned a phallic shaped plush toy? Oh, he knew it had something to do with that L character. Before this ridiculous surveillance, his son had never stepped a toe out of line. That he knew of, that is. Was his son... oh he almost couldn't bear to think it... a homosexual? How tragic! After all his wonderful parenting, his son turned out a fruitfly! Mark his words, Soichiro would get to the bottom of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Um... I've been apart of the death note fandom for about four?? years. And this is what I chose to spend my time on... Enjoy ig. ;)


End file.
